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Segalanya berangsur-angsur mereda. Kuraih bantal terdekat dan aku pun berbaring: terlentang, telanjang, dan basah oleh keringat. Aku ingin mengenakan pakaianku, juga ingin mencari Shahzad dan melihat apakah dia masih di sana memunggungiku, tapi aku begitu lelah dan tetap berbaring menghadap sarang lebah di atas sana. Tuan Babak berbaring di sampingku dan mengembuskan ucapan-ucapan semacam betapa cermin seharusnya tersipu malu atas kehadiranku; mengutip Kai Ka’us bin Iskandar, raja dari dinasti ratusan tahun silam yang ibundanya berleluhur mamluk Turki, “Aku akan seperti musim panas untuk laki-laki dan musim dingin untuk perempuan”; dengan berlebihan berkhayal bahwa berjumpa denganku membuatnya merasa menjadi seorang Beha ed-Din Zoheir, sang penyair Mesir, dan berkata adalah sebuah kerugian besar penyair Ahmed bin Yusuf al Tayfashi tidak berjumpa denganku semasa hidupnya; dan terakhir yang kuingat, sebelum akhirnya terlelap oleh lelah dan buai bualannya, dia janjikan kepadaku sebuah bungalo yang lebih besar dan megah daripada yang kami tempat sekarang ini, akan dia hiasi dengan bunga-bunga, buku-buku, anggur-anggur, dan burung-burung yang pandai berkicau setiap hari.

Pagi-pagi sekali keesokan harinya, setelah Tuan Babak mengucapkan perpisahan pada kawan Azerinya, kami berangkat meninggalkan Qum dan langsung menuju Tehran. Perih yang ditinggalkan Tuan Babak semalam membuatku agak kerepotan duduk di atas unta, tapi sebisa mungkin aku berlaku bagai semuanya baik-baik dan nyaman-nyaman saja. Aku juga sempat khawatir bagaimana Shahzad akan bersikap padaku, tapi dia tetap ramah dan baik, tetap mengajakku bicara dan bergurau tanpa perlu mengungkit sekalipun kejadian malam itu. Shahzad tak berubah bagai tak terjadi apapun dan aku bersyukur, tapi aku tetap tidak bisa mengusir gambaran Shahzad yang memunggungiku, menjauh dan mengabur.

Sekitar separuh perjalanan mendekati Tehran kami berkemah. Di dekat api unggun Shirin bercerita tentang bagaimana penghuni harem saudagar Azeri di Qum betul antusias terhadapnya, menanyainya apakah dia sering melakukan perjalanan jauh seperti ini bersama laki-laki, bagaimana seorang perempuan bisa melakukan perjalanan jauh seperti itu, dan kenapa dia tidak memilih bersemayam di harem sebagaimana perempuan lain dan menunggu cinta dan belas kasih dari laki-laki yang dihormati. Aku tidak tahu apa yang ada di pikiran kakakku ketika itu, tapi Tuan Babak tidak membalasnya, aku dan Shahzad juga tetap diam saja, dan karena itu Shirin melanjutkan, “Aku sebentar lagi tujuh belas tahun.”

“Dan kau mau menukar kebebasan langka yang kuberikan padamu untuk sebuah kehidupan harem, Anakku?” tanya Tuan Babak.

“Setidaknya aku setuju tentang cinta dan belas kasih,” Shirin berkata lirih.

Malamnya Shahzad membangunkanku. Kupikir sudah giliranku jaga, tapi ternyata Shahzad membangunkanku atas perintah Tuan Babak. Aku masuk ke dalam tenda Tuan Babak dan beliau langsung menyuruhku melepaskan baju.

“Anakku, senangkanlah hatiku, makanlah anggur ini dan peluklah aku,” dengan suara yang seperti bernyanyi Tuan Babak berkata sambil memasukkan sebutir anggur hijau ke dalam mulutku. Tuan Babak mengeluarkan kain sutra yang lembut dan bercorak halus, lalu melilitkannya pada tubuh telanjangku, sambil memanggilku dengan berbagai sebutan, “Anakku! Wazirku! Pangeranku! Burung Kenari yang Akan Senantiasa Melantunkan Ghazal-ghazal Fuzuli dan Rumi Untukku!” Dia kenakan sehelai gaun yang begitu bening dan bersulam emas dan perak pada tubuhku, dia tambahkan beberapa gelang dan kalung manik-manik, pelan-pelan dia poleskan pupur pada mukaku dan dia ulaskan celak pada mataku; sembari melakukan semua itu bibirnya tak henti-henti mengarang julukan-julukan untukku, dan di antara semua itu ada satu yang berkali-kali dia ulang bahkan pada ritus-ritus kami kelak: “Istriku di Perjalanan.” Manakala dia sedang memberikan sentuhan terakhir pada ujung mataku—yang berujung pada julukan, “Mata Panahku! Tali Jeratku!”—aku bertanya, “Bagaimana dengan Shahzad?”

“Duhai Perangkap Kebijaksaanku, sudah habis aroma susu pada kuncup bibirnya, dan sekarang hanya engkaulah, Bahadurku, yang mampu membuat malu bulan dan bintang di langit sana.”

Setelah beres memulasku, Tuan Babak menyodorkan cermin, dan kulihat mukaku sekarang lebih menyerupai salah satu penghuni harem milik kawan Azeri-nya daripada seorang remaja jembel yang dia pungut dari Shiraz. Tanpa kusadari Tuan Babak sudah mendengusi kulitku dan tangannya sudah mencengkeram tubuhku, dan yang bisa kulakukan cuma pasrah dan berserah sampai semuanya selesai dan aku tertidur di tenda Tuan Babak karena terlalu lelah. Malam itu Shahzad berjaga di luar sendiri, sampai subuh datang dan dia membangunkan kami untuk salat. Aku jadi merasa begitu segan pada Shahzad, lebih-lebih atas apa yang telah aku dengar dari mulut Tuan Babak. Aku merasa telah mencuri sesuatu dari Shahzad, dan dia tetap begitu tulus padaku.

Sewaktu kami tiba di gerbang besar Tehran, seorang pemuda langsung menghampiri kami. Pemuda yang mengaku sebagai kurir itu berkuda langsung dari Isfahan dan sudah seminggu menunggu kedatangan kami. Dia mencari Shirin dan langsung saja menyerahkan surat dari Kedutaan Portugis. Bisa kulihat Shirin begitu berbinar menerima surat tersebut, tapi dia tidak langsung membacanya. Ketika kami tiba di penginapan, barulah Shirin begitu tak sabar pamit pada Tuan Babak untuk langsung ke kamar dan beristirahat sampai makan malam nanti.

Tuan Babak menyuruh aku dan Shahzad langsung memasok perbekalan kembali untuk perjalanan menuju Qazvin, sementara dia akan pergi cukup lama untuk bertransaksi dengan salah satu kenalannya di pasar. Karena Tuan Babak sudah berpesan demikian, kami memutuskan untuk makan malam terlebih dahulu di kedai penginapan. Shirin bergabung dengan kami tak lama kemudian dan kulihat kegirangan pada mukanya sudah cukup berkurang. Kutebak dia sudah membaca surat tersebut, meskipun aku sudah tahu siapa pengirimnya, juga punya gambaran apa yang mungkin tertulis di dalamnya, aku tetap memancingnya dengan pertanyaan-pertanyaan. Tapi Shirin menolak bercerita, meskipun dia mengakui kalau surat tersebut memang ditulis oleh Pêro Cabral. Garis muka Shirin yang sekarang datar-datar saja, tak menunjukkan jejak-jejak beban maupun kegembiraan, membuatku bingung dan meragukan dugaanku sebelumnya.

Karena urusan tawar-menawar Tuan Babak belum selesai juga, kami perlu bermalam di Tehran sehari lagi. Aku dan Shahzad berniat mengajak Shirin keliling kota, tapi dia tidak di kamarnya. Shahzad bercerita ini sudah yang kelima belas kalinya dia mengunjungi Tehran bersama Tuan Babak; dia menjelaskan tentang tembok besar dan menara pengawas yang dibangun di empat titik kota, dan lantas dia bercerita tentang pengaruh-pengaruh orang-orang Yesuit di Tehran dan betapa Tuan Babak membenci hal itu; mendengar cerita-cerita yang menandakan betapa Shahzad sangat memahami Tuan Babak malah mengembalikan rasa bersalahku pada Shahzad.

Kami keluar dari pasar menuju jalanan yang lebih tenang, dan Shahzad bercerita bahwa dia bukanlah yang pertama, dan sebelum dia ada satu budak Makedonia dibeli dan diselundupkan Tuan Babak. Budak yang begitu menawan itu didandani dan diajari cara hidup orang-orang Farsi, tapi budak itu menolak, dia bahkan menolak mengganti namanya dari Alexander menjadi Iskandar, dan Tuan Babak mau tidak mau harus mengembalikan dia ke Anatolia, tempat beliau menemukannya; dia tidak menelantarkannya, dia menjual budak itu pada bangsawan Anatolia yang dia yakini akan memperlakukannya secara baik. Tak lama setelah itu Tuan Babak menemukan Shahzad di Nishapur, dan sampai sekarang kadang-kadang Shahzad merasa kalau dia tak lebih dari pengganti budak Makedonia itu, dan barangkali budak Makedonia itu sebetulnya pengganti orang sebelumnya lagi; Shahzad tidak tahu apakah kesemuanya itu sebetulnya menggantikan sesuatu atau sesosok yang utama atau sekedar rantai yang tak ada ujung-pangkalnya. “Ada yang aku pahami tentang Tuan Babak, tapi ada juga yang tidak aku pahami,” kata Shahzad.

“Tuan Babak begitu menyukai budak Makedonia itu tapi dia bersikeras mengubahnya jadi orang Farsi,” Shahzad berkata setelah jeda singkat dari ucapannya tadi, “Tuan Babak melakukan tawar-menawar dengan orang Inggris dan Portugis tapi menolak pengaruh orang-orang Yesuit di Tehran. Segigih apapun orang Portugis itu menawar, aku tidak yakin Tuan Babak sudi menyerahkan Shirin padanya.”

Bagai suatu kebetulan, tak lama setelah itu kami mendapati Shirin dari kejauhan, baru saja keluar dari Gedung Kedutaan Portugis. Aku memanggilnya tapi dia tidak mendengar dan terus saja berjalan. Aku yang dia lakukan di sana pastilah berkaitan dengan surat dari kekasih Portugisnya, tapi dia cuma tersenyum tipis dan tidak menjawab apa-apa ketika kutanyakan pada waktu makan malam. Tuan Babak muncul ketika kami hampir selesai makan malam, dia mengejutkan kami dengan keputusan baru, “Kita tidak jadi ke Tabriz. Kita akan kembali ke Isfahan besok.” Sebelum kami sempat bertanya, Tuan Babak menjelaskan bahwa dia sudah memberi kabar rekannya di Soltaniyeh dan Tabriz soal pembatalan perjanjian dan akan membayar kompensasinya; dia juga sudah menjual semua barang dagangan kepada kerabatnya di Tehran, hampir dua pertiga dari harga yang bisa dia dapat semestinya, tapi itu bukan masalah baginya; dia juga sudah memasok beberapa barang baru untuk dibawa ke Isfahan dan menyuruh Shahzad untuk mengurusi besok pagi. Secara spesifik dia tidak menjelaskan alasan keputusan tiba-tibanya itu, tapi dia katakan ada sesuatu yang sangat genting yang hendak dia lakukan di Isfahan. Dan seolah-olah tidak ingin mendapat pertanyaan sama sekali, dia langsung kembali ke kamarnya begitu saja. Malam itu Tuan Babak tidak memanggilku ke kamarnya, dan untuk pertama kalinya sepanjang perjalanan ini akhirnya aku bisa mendapatkan kesempatan yang cukup berarti bersama Shahzad; namun, yang Shahzad lakukan di kamar setelah mengimamiku salat hanya menyuruhku cepat-cepat tidur dan bangun dini hari.

Barang-barang yang akan dibawa Tuan Babak kembali ke Isfahan ternyata tidak terlalu banyak, maka aku dan Shahzad bisa cepat membereskannya. Kami membuat buntalan-buntalan yang lebih kecil dari biasanya, dan agar pembagiannya lebih merata, kami membagi buntalan bekal perjalanan menjadi lebih kecil. Kami menghabiskan waktu cukup lama untuk membungkus barang-barang pecah-belah, dan sisanya kami padatkan seadanya. Ketika mulai siang, sedikit terlambat dari waktu yang ditargetkan Tuan Babak, kami sudah selesai mengikat masing-masing buntalan pada tiap unta, lalu kami pun berangkat.

Karena beban yang tak terlalu berat dan keinginan Tuan Babak untuk cepat sampai, kami tiba di Isfahan dua hari lebih cepat daripada perjalanan keberangkatan. Tuan Babak tidak banyak bicara di sepanjang perjalanan; dia bahkan cuma tiga kali saja memanggilku untuk masuk ke dalam tenda atau kamarnya di karavansara, dan ketika itu pun Tuan Babak tetap tergesa-gesa: tanpa  memolesku atau membuaiku dengan sanjungan-sanjungan terlebih dahulu dia langsung menancapkan berahinya padaku dan menyuruhku segera istirahat agar bisa berangkat cepat keesokan harinya.

 

Cerita Bersambung hari setiap Kamis! Cerita kali ini diisi oleh Rio Johan – penyuka buku, film, dan video game. Buku pertamanya, kumpulan cerpen Aksara Amananunna (KPG, 2014), termasuk sepuluh besar Kusala Sastra Khatulistiwa dan terpilih sebagai Buku Prosa pilihan Tempo. Pada tahun 2016 tinggal di Berlin selama dua bulan untuk program residensi penulis dari Komite Buku Nasional. Novel hasil program tersebut baru saja terbit dengan judul Ibu Susu.

Editor Litera

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